7/12 Tuesday Jokes 😆🤣😂😢😲🤡

1. Love Island

Two men and a woman are stranded on an island after a plane crash…
Resourceful, they waste no time, build a house, find food and water, and globally have it good. After one month, the woman goes to the two men and says:

“Okay guys, let’s be frank. I have my needs, you have your needs, let’s do it. We’ll take turns, one day it’s you”, she says to the first guy, “and the other day it’s the other”.

And so they have a whale of time taking turns, enjoying their business together for one whole month. However, unfortunately, the woman dies after that month, because of a rotten banana or whatever. The two men mourn the loss of their playmate and partner for the following week. Then, one man goes to the other and says:

“Okay man, let’s be frank. I have my needs, you have your needs, let’s do it. We’ll take turns, one day it’s you, and the other day it’s me.”

And so they have a good time taking turns, enjoying their business together for one whole month. The first man then goes to the other and says:

“Okay man, I need to talk to you.

– Yeah, me too actually.

– We had a fun month, but I think we should stop.

– Yeah, I felt this way too. I feel what we’re doing is not natural.

– That’s right. Let’s stop.”

So they nod their head in common understanding. The second man then says:

“Well then, shall we bury her?”

 

2. Pre-Historic LGBT

What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Megasoreass.

 

3. Unfair for 1 partner

3 men were waiting in line to enter heaven
The angel at the gate asks the first man “how many times did you cheat on your wife?” “10 times” the man answers. The angel gives him the keys to a 2010 Toyota Camry “this is how you will drive around heaven”. The second man says he cheated on his wife 5 times, the angel gives him a 2018 Lexus and lets him in. The third man says he never cheated on his wife, he gets a 2021 Rolls Royce.

A few days later the 3 men meet and the man in the Rolls Royce is very sad, the men ask him what’s wrong, he replies “I just saw my wife riding around on a scooter.

 

4. We Finally meet

Two women who recently died were waiting at the Gates of Heaven
Woman 1: “So, how did you die?”

Woman 2: “I froze to death.”

Woman 1: “Wow, that must’ve been so painful. I’m so sorry.”

Woman 2: “It was, but after a while, you go numb & don’t feel as much. How did you die?”

Woman 1: “Well, I thought my husband was cheating on me. So I rushed home early from work, but he was just playing video games. Then I ran into the bedroom to look for evidence, but I couldn’t find anything. So I ran to the bathroom to search, but I still couldn’t find anything. I even ran outside to the backyard, but I still couldn’t find anything there.”

Woman 2: “So what happened to you?”

Woman 1: “I was so exhausted from running around that I collapsed & died.”

Woman 2: “Well if you had looked in the freezer first we’d both be alive right now.”

 

5. Blondes & a Brunette

A brunette woman was walking along a set of railroad tracks, repeating to herself, “42, 42, 42. 42, 42, 42.”
A blonde woman saw the brunette and asked, “What are you doing?”

“I’m just walking along a railroad track and saying 42, 42, 42,” replied the brunette.

“Can I join you?”

“Sure.”

So the two women walked along the track repeating, “42, 42, 42. 42, 42, 42.”

Another blonde saw them and asked, “What are you doing?”

“We’re just walking along a railroad track and saying 42, 42, 42,” replied the brunette.

“Can I join you?”

“Sure.”

Now there were three women walking along the track repeating, “42, 42, 42. 42, 42, 42.”

A third blonde saw them and asked, “What are you doing?”

“We’re just walking along a railroad track and saying 42, 42, 42,” replied the brunette.

“Can I join you?”

“Sure.”

Now there were four women walking along the track repeating, “42, 42, 42. 42, 42, 42.”

Just then, the brunette heard a rumbling sound. She looked behind her and saw a train. She jumped off the track to save herself, but the blondes weren’t so lucky. They were struck by the train and killed instantly.

As soon as the train had gone, the brunette got back on the track and said, “45, 45, 45…”