1. Bee sting! good!
I was stung on my dick by a bee once. When I went to the doctor I asked him if he could give me something for the pain but to leave the swelling.
2. Golf holes
Was golfing with the wife when a stray shot hit her, ran to the clubhouse to ask for a doctor. He said ‘where did it happen’, ‘between the first and second hole’ he said well you haven’t left much room for a bandage!
3. No baby, the baby can’t come
My wife phoned me, panting and breathless.
“Where are you?” she moaned.
“I’m at the pub,” I replied.
She said, “I think the baby’s coming!”
I said, “Well, he won’t get in. He’s underage.”27
4. planet sex
If I could have sex with any person on the planet.
I would.
5. ####
When I was growing up # was pound, not hashtag
Good thing it changed, since “pound metoo” would’ve been sending the wrong message.
Tags: DailyJoke funny humour jokes NSFW