25/1/23 Jokes

1. A blind man with a service dog walked into a bar
The construction worker holding the bar said, “Dude, you need a new dog!”

2. An old Jewish man is lying on his deathbed with his tearful wife by his side.
An old Jewish man is lying on his deathbed with his tearful wife by his side.

“Moira, beautiful Moira. You were with me many years ago when the Germans took our home and so many of us suffered” to which his wife simply nodded.

“And years later, you were with me when my business failed and I lost nearly everything”. And again, Moira nodded.

“And now, you are here. From my sickness to my last moment. I’m starting to think you’re bad luck, Moira”

3. My landlord told me that he would like to have a chat with me soon…
about the house’s sky-high heating bills this winter.

I told him: “Sure thing, whenever you want. My door is always open”.

4. Guy with an Orange Penis
A guy with an Orange Penis goes to the Dr and says “Doc, my penis turned orange”

The Doctor says ” that’s odd. Have you changed your behaviors recently, or diet, or is there an increase of stress in your life?”

The guy replies back ” No, No, and no”

The Doctor says ” Ok that’s odd. Never had a case like this before. Tell me, what are your hobbies?”

The guy replies back ” Same as every other guy I guess. I enjoy eating Cheetos and watching porn”.

5. How many engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, that’s a technical problem.