28/1/23 Jokes

1. I went fishing this morning, but after a short time, I ran out of worms…
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. “Frogs are good bass bait,” I thought to myself. Knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket. Just then, I realized I had a problem, how was I going to release the snake without getting bit? So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey into its mouth. The snake’s eyes rolled back and he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog. A little later, I felt a nudge at my foot. There was that same snake with two more frogs in his mouth. Life is good in the South.

2. Why wasn’t the premature ejaculator in the office?
He got off early

3. A tech company gets a new CTO…
She comes in and says hey, we’re gonna make some changes around here.

Mondays we won’t work, we’ll be recovering from the weekend. Tuesdays we won’t work, we’ll be getting ready for the work week. Wednesdays, that’s our new work week. Thursdays we won’t work, we need to recover from a long work week, and Fridays we won’t work, we’ll need to get ready for the weekend.

A senior programmer in the back raises his hand and says hey, I’m not sure I understand… Does this mean we have to start working on Wednesdays?

4. Why are races in Helsinki so confusing?
Because every line is a Finnish line.

5. Chuck Norris once had a nightmare
Nightmares stay away from him now