4/2/23 Jokes

1. Yesterday, I drank a bottle of invisible ink.
I was in the hospital all night waiting to be seen

2. What do you call a dog with no legs?
Log

3. Why did the man buy handguns from a T-Rex?
Because he is his small arms dealer

4. I was just about to go on a blind date with a female roofer
But her fascia turned me off

5. Two guys in a lunatic asylum
See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum… and one night, one night they decide they don’t like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they’re going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight… stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn’t dare make the leap. Y’see… Y’see, he’s afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea… He says ‘Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I’ll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!’ B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says… He says ‘Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You’d turn it off when I was halfway across!