22/1 Jokes

By DARZEE

Category: humour

1. Gunderson who?

There once was a boy named George Gunderson who did not do very well in school. His classmates ridiculed him every day, as did his teacher, Mrs. Jones. George couldn’t stand it and always came home crying to his parents.
One day, Mr. and Mrs. Gunderson decided to come to the school early to give Mrs. Jones a piece of her mind. The second the door opened to let the kids outside, Mr. and Mrs. Gunderson peeked inside to hear Mrs. Jones screaming at George. “George Gunderson, you are the dumbest kid in the world!”

George’s parents immediately stormed into the classroom. “Our son is not dumb!” they yelled. “He is a sweet and kind young lad with plenty of potential!”

“He has no potential at all!” shrieked Mrs. Jones. “He was born an idiot and he’ll die an idiot!”

The Gundersons were so outraged that they immediately moved to Chicago.

Some thirty years later, Mrs. Jones came down with a terrible illness and went to her doctor.

“You have a very rare disease,” the doctor said. “There is only one doctor in the whole country who can cure your disease. His name is Dr. Gunderson, and he works in the Chicago hospital.”

At once, Mrs. Jones bought a plane ticket to Chicago. After arriving in Chicago, she went straight to the hospital and asked for Dr. Gunderson.

While treating Mrs. Jones, Dr. Gunderson put her on a life support system. One day, she asked him, “You know, Dr. Gunderson, I don’t believe you ever told me your first name. What is it?”

Dr. Gunderson was about to answer when suddenly, Mrs. Jones collapsed. She was dead.

Dr. Gunderson saw that the janitor had absentmindedly unplugged the life support system so he could plug in his vacuum cleaner. He shook his head and said to the janitor, “You know, George, sometimes I can’t believe you’re my brother.”

 

2. KFC No!

An attractive woman once asked if I was interested in breasts or thighs. I told her I’m mostly into feet and anal.
I am no longer welcome at that KFC restaurant.

3. How to eat

What has KFC and making love to a woman have in common?
First, you start with the beautiful legs, then onto the tasty thighs, next is the succulent breast, and when all that is done you’re left with a greasy box to stick your bone-in.

 

4. We all know Brenda!

One day a blind man goes to a restaurant
One day a blind man goes to a restaurant

The server asked him if he’d like to see the menu

The blind man says: “no, I am blind, just bring me a dirty fork and I will smell it and order”.

The server, confused, goes to the kitchen and brings back a dirty fork.

The blind man smells it and says: “I’ll have the beef steak with mash potatoes and gravy and some chocolate brownies for dessert”.

The server brings him his food and the blind man enjoys his meal, pays the bill, and leaves.

Next week, the blind man goes back to the same restaurant.

The server recognizes him and wants to see how good the blind man’s sense of smell is, he goes to the kitchen and asks his wife, Brenda, for a spoon.

He instructs his wife, Brenda, to rub the spoon all over her private parts and so she does.

The server hands the dirty spoon to the blind man. The blind man takes a whiff and says:

“I didn’t know Brenda worked here”

5. I love animals.

I once dated a girl
She told me she loved all animals. When I told her I worked with animals, she asked me if I was a veterinarian.

I told her, “No, I am a butcher”

Tags: DailyJoke entertainment fromtheweb funny humour jokes NSFW

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