20/12/22 Jokes

1. Ever heard about a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the Demon tells the priest to get out of the child.

2. Seducing the milkman delivery guy:
A woman wanted to seduce her good-looking, to the door, milkman delivery guy. So, the next week when she heard him putting her milk on the porch, she opened the door and told the milkman to follow her to the bathtub.

She took off her clothes, got in the tub, and, asked the milkman to fill the tub with milk. The milkman said, “Do you want that milk pasteurized?” And the woman replied, “No, just up to my boobs, I can splash it in my eyes.”

3. The pervert….
Why did the pervert cross the road?

His dick was stuck in a chicken.

4. On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife…
On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction. The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.

The old Indian gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned ‘This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: ‘1-2-3.’

When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want.”

The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked: “How do I stop the medicine from working?”

“Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,’ he responded, “but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.”

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.

When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: “1-2-3!” Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and asked: “What was the 1-2-3 for?”

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition because we could end up with a dangling participle.

5. I took viagra for a sunburn
It doesn’t cure it, but it keeps the bedsheets off my legs