27/12/22 Jokes

1. An easy way to make money is to take photos of salmon dressed in formal human clothes.
It’s like… shooting fish in apparel.

2. My wife is such an idiot
My wife is such an idiot. She went on a business trip yesterday and took a whole pack of condoms with her.

She doesn’t even have a penis.

3. Thieves stole a truck that was delivering Viagra
The police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.

4. A dog and a cat are having an argument about who is the favorite with humans. The dog says, “humans like us more; they even named a tooth after us (the canine). Naming an important body part after us proves they like dogs more.”
The cat smiles and says, “Guess what? You are not going to win this one”

5. Conversation at the beach
A widowed Jewish lady, still in perfect shape, was sunbathing on a deserted beach near Tel Aviv.

She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers, and began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.

• “How are you today?”
• “Fine, thank you,” he responded and turned back to his book.
• “I love the beach. Do you come here often?” she asked.
• “First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago,” he replied and turned back to his book.
• “I’m sorry to hear that. My husband passed away three years ago, and it is very lonely,” she countered.
• ”Do you live around here?” she asked.
• “Yes, I live over in Jaffa,” he answered, and again he resumed reading.

Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted,

• “Do you like pussy cats?”

With that, the man dropped his book, came over to her blanket, tore off her swimsuit, and gave her the most passionate lovemaking of her life.

When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man,

• “How did you know that was what I wanted?”

The man replied,

• “How did you know my name was Katz?”