5/1/23 Jokes

1. How did the zombie know they won the lottery?
It was a dead giveaway

2. Santa gets around a lot just like Ludacris.
He ho ho ho’s in different area codes.

3. Did you see the newspaper headlines about the Christmas Eve robbery at the German bakery? It said…
STOLLEN STOLEN!!

4. My wife was very disappointed when I told her that I got “I love you” tattooed on my penis.
She just shook her head and said, “There you go again, always trying to put words in my mouth.”

5. What’s the difference between your cat and your wife?
One doesn’t care whether you live or die and refuses to eat anything you make, and the other one sleeps on the bed sometimes.