16/1/23 Jokes

1. Son, you’re adopted
“I Knew it! I want to meet my biological parents.”

“We are your biological parents, your adoptive parents will come for you tomorrow.”

2. What’s the difference between your mom and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you take the meat out.

3. The other night I overheard three very hefty women talking
Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached them and asked: “Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?”

One of them angrily screeched: “It’s Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!”

So I apologized and replied: “I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?”

And that’s the last thing I remember.

4. My son asked me, “Dad, can I eat the last piece of cake in the fridge?” I smiled and said, “Sure…”
“But the dining room would probably be more comfortable.”

5. A girl told me, “you’re smart, but like, lookswise you’re pretty average.”
“That’s mean,” I replied.